Strictly Speaking

by Retirement Party

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1.
I can't fight your consistency in my mind I knew that it would come but you never said it would come a thousand fucking times If only you knew me as well as our words seemed to tell I know a month isn't long, but eternity cast its spell I tried to change my mind Your grip was all but tight this time And I know you're in love with someone else
2.
Hall Beach 03:18
My mother always told me about how my smile looks better with my teeth From six years on it sat at my bedside table for whatever occasion I might need A little pick me up, a little white mask to boost my self esteem I'm not afraid of death, but I'm sure as hell afraid of dying Is it traditional? Am I a fake? When I hold back a smile in attempt to change the existential doubt running through my brain If progress was measured by late nights and time that I spend away from my goddamn mind I guess you could say I'm doing alright My balance is the best it's ever been but I still find myself tripping up the stairs At least I'm not twisting, turning, tumbling down A few bruised ribs is all I can bear Gotta rest up Take a few pills, get myself prepared This fleeting gain is nowhere near enough to get me there
3.
Somehow I'm the one apologizing every other night Is it my sad mental state that creates the pit in my stomach and puts the fault on mine? Maybe it was fate that I forgot to give you that shitty cassette tape until last night When I caught a glimpse of your lips on hers and I lost my focus, couldn't compose my mind When you tore out the stitches I labored over to suppress my emotions, I had only ever showed you mine And your cigarette smoke, it sticks to my clothes Like the words I stole, and wrote off as my own Shortness of breath, carcinogens bled out from your chest In and out breath through your mouth take in what you can and just throw the rest out Your ball and chain is keeping me here when I just wanna run away Charm and wit has a tighter grip than my conscious will ever muster up anyways Victim of my inability to stand up for myself and push the guilt away
4.
Was a long time coming Had a head so big it sank into the ground Translucent prerogative Seemed much more derogative with hands tied where only I can see It's just a game I'm the pawn and you're the rook and you're closing in on me making me rethink everything Numbing all the pain Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is the only movie that I can see that makes me feel a little bit of anything at all Lost all sentiment Tucked it away in boxes under my bed, its better there than in my head If I were on the run I don't know what I'd be running from, this was planned methodically I guess I stand for my beliefs I'm not sure if I don't believe in a god or if he doesn't believe in me And I'm sick of scraped up knees and wearing shoes two sizes two big for me
5.
Conclusions 02:37
I feel I'm standing on the edge of where the sidewalk ends, I'm gonna fall I'm burning through my money and I'm not yet even twenty; a lost cause Sleeping by the window A balled up sweatshirt as a pillow I've concluded my neck needs more support A drunken waltz down the street last night Roxanne isn't putting on the red light as I keep my eyes from leaving the ground If only I had a bike I could have been home half an hour ago The wall outside my window A passage small and dark and narrow I've concluded the brick is kinda nice Throw myself out of the window Hyperbole will soften the blow I've concluded I complain a little too much

credits

released January 1, 2017

All music by Retirement Party.
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Seth Engel at Pallet Sound

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Retirement Party Chicago, Illinois

party rockers from the windy city

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